Fly, you fool

**4 months since the last post, a quick update while i still have the sense to do it **

如果说要去爱别人，首先要学会爱自己的话

那要养活别人，就要先养得活自己

快要开工了咯。。

2014 n' some words to Ego

Dear Ego,

I apprieciate and thankyou for being here, identifying potential danger and protecting me from them.

But, there are certain areas of life that you cant understand.
 
Because of that, sometimes you overworked yourself and end up feeling like crap in the end.

Love, faith and courage, things that you are not comfortable with.. I'm asking you to trust me on these.

Sure, i will make mistake, fall down and get hurt along the way, but i promise not to run away but to learn from each and every single one of them.

And it's going to make us even more awesome. Deal?

p/s:
Ego is not a monster, is it your frightened inner-child that feels the need to protect you from everything. Do not throw away you ego, because without it you will be a pushover with no opinion.
Instead, give it security and comfort, and watch the negativity melts away.
Happy 2014 =)

Nov 13 - 5 Dec??

Are you still there?

When september ends

 
For my friends ^^
i have my dark side, and my better side
i can be cold and i can be warm
sometimes i am disciplined sometimes i am sloppy
sometimes i am carefree but sometimes self-conscious
sometimes i am fun sometimes i am boring
sometimes i am all out sometimes i am shy 
sometimes i think to much sometime i just do it

i m not perfect
i try my best
i cant make everyone happy
that's why i treasure you all who stays after knowing how i really am

Gd nite =)

Blurry July

“ei XXX, 你可以不要酱blur吗？”

大家都有听过吧？ ^^
相信你们朋友当中就会有一两个相处时反应比较迟钝和没主见的，什么都okay的， 没错，就是在讲他们啦 :P

其实ho..

不是他们没主见
而是凡事都顺着别人，配合大家，不知不觉就忘了自己想要什么

不是他们头脑不好
而是做什么事之前都考虑到别人，所以常常慢半拍

矛盾是因为有太多的顾虑
想要大家都开开心心的结局


所以说如果你身边有个老是blurblur的朋友请一定要好好珍惜他/她 =）
因为他们不太会为自己着想，总是先别人，然后才想到自己。也很容易被欺负
所以更需要你多多关心。
让他们知道自己也和别人一样重要 okay okay? 哈哈 ;)

p/s ： 我最近才发现的**


*****

oh,ya regarding the internship... i actually have alot to write about..then i think again.. and is like..lets just save it for the journal instead..

running of things to write....\(><)/

but dont worry, im doing quite okay so far
its just that i didt know where to begin =)
let me save it until when this whole thing is done.

Btw, talking about blurry, d haze is definately coming back.
take care y'all and drink plenty of water.

Good night, n happy holiday.

May It Turns Out Well

hey all..may is coming to an end
and thus like any month it demand an issue of its own..
as promised...
and it is a fast month of outings and celebrations
and.......it also signals the end of another sem of academic life.

what comes after this is the inevitable internship and FYP
and then there's two more sem to go, followed by yet another split road after that.


So how's  this sem for me.....hmm..

let's say i've learnt to trust and let those things that we cant control to flow on its own and hope for the best

To be honest..
sometimes.. we all hope that the people around us are mind readers isnt?
to be able to understand us without the need to explain yourself.

for me..I'm not really a big fan of verbal self defense..
and...i think its probably due to two reason..

the first case being that, as a boy from the down town
as i plough through the years in college
i realized that there so much more to learn and so many thing to get used to before i'm rdy to face the world on my feet.

Or in short, i wanted to be less "Blur" @-@ on daily basis haha.

this is why i 'm always open to critics and abrasive comment.
I listen and listened
and i know that whether or not to accept them is entirely up to me
so there is no need for me to be defensive when someone deliberately swing a couple of low blow on me
its just funny for me everytime that happens
thanks to my natural  安全感 haha =)


And the second reason is that....
i also trust the people who care about me..to understand me as i am.

and the reason i prefer to use the term "people who cares about me" over "friends" is that..
i m not those people who makes lots of 'Hi... Bye.." friend

For me, friends are not only for you to find when you re bored and wanted to have a night out or a day out.
friends are someone...who is..

-there for you- (oh, the cheesiness level is too damm high)

its not that i will demand a lot from my friends.
I' m just talking about how i see the term -friend
Its just that, when i makes friends.. like a fool...i always give my all..no holding back..
and because of this.. i became really vulnerable. like really really vulnerable

Its only in the recent years that i realized this pattern of mine..o.0

And since then i've been trying to adopt a more light hearted approach in meeting new people.
And i cant really tell how it turns out, but its certainly takes less effort to make more 'friends'
but how many of them are those who counts anyways? that you can pour yourself to? =)

I personally don't mind about the need to have people to count on, as i don't really like to trouble other people for my business anyways =/
But its always breaks my heart me to see people who once shared so many good times with us, becoming almost a stranger when we finally met again some time later.

But then i figured...if among that the people i cared about if i manage to find a few that also cared abt me as i do to them then it would be well worth it. dont you think? =)

So..for those people who i really care about.
Know that i will always be there for you. Alright?
I trust you to know even without me telling you. okay? haha^^

Because seriously, i have no idea how to tell you also lor..-o-

Good night!
next update will be on the internship! so stay tuned





 

Passing of the Fool

I really really really should not be blogging right now.
But hey its d last day of the month, and it sure beats a mid night rush isnt it?

Again, its a month full of 'things'
as of what things, haha, ;)
Perhaps its just little thing here and there, but sometimes its the simple thing that thought us the most.  


 But we Always tend to complicate simple thing up don't we? =)
Perhaps as we grow older, we told ourselves nothing will comes easily for us
so we fight fight n fight, to the point that we r too scared to accept anything in return.

Is there any way to stop this? I dunno, something i felt really tired just by thinking it alone
That's why i choose not to think about it, or at least trying to.

But right now, i just wanna do my part, to the very best, and hopefully, everything will fall in place in time.
Wish me luck.

 

我只是想在乎我在乎的  =）
因为我真的怕
有一天 我会付不起再认真

always enjoyed live music over the studio one ^o^ eventhough the mic isnt doing her any justice ~.~

Good bye the fools of April
Let's get smart this May. Okay?

_________________________________________________________________________________
p/s:  Alot of people asked me why most of my post is about "deep" things. Well.....

Answer:

First of all i don't consider these topic as "deep" bah. Its just a bunch of honest opinion... nothing's wrong with that right? haha. I've always enjoyed talking about things like this. And its really hard to find people that will openly talk abt this. Occasionally, i will met a few of these people and we will often chat for hours non stop.

I like conversation like this, because it is my nature to understand as much as possible about the people i care about.

So that, i ll know how to threat them with the best way.

It can be a handful at time, because everyone is different, but that also makes it a lot more interesting and rewarding at the same time.

Haha, hope that clears things up.

By the way, that doesn't mean i don't talk crap ~o~ but only reserve to people who are really close already or people who i don't really care about. I'm an extremist! =D

See? we scorpios aren't so mysterious after all =)
Infact, we are most simple being.
Like then like, don't like then don't like
Doesnt get any easier than that right?
But we do spent a lot of time thinking of why we are so simple though. haha!

Good night!
_________________________________________________________________________________






 

March'in Away

Zippidy Zoom, another month passes by this time i would like to do something different with the post..
ready? ahem 1..2..3..

很快地，三月就过去了。
为什么呢？
是考试吗？是活动吗？ 还是太旧没回家？
失踪的电话？ 临场的表演？
不清楚
也说不完
总之三月真不简单。

 真的好想回家，有好多放着一半的东西想做。哈哈



















对了，最近发现IRIS 2 已经开始放影了。
因为是 IRIS 和 ATHENA 的忠实粉丝
所以非常得期待。
(p/s: 张赫的造型很。。。。非主流？）

虽然最近都告诉自己
22岁了，不要再追戏， 是时候活出自己的人生
可是有些戏就是不能不看。哈哈 ~O~



还有最后想说的是..

三月份里认识了好多有趣的人
真的，
会有 “waseh。。 原来还有这样的人” 的感觉
聊了过后会发现
虽然他/她们生活的原则都跟自己的想法差很远
但是个自都有着独特的道里。

哈哈，我本身就很喜欢和有自己独特风格的人打交到

人啊。。就是要活出自己的样子
要对自己有信心，
不要意味则想 配合/跟上 “大家” 的影子或潮流
因为人都不能完美啊。。
能不在乎你的“缺点”和你的“不一样”的人，才是值得你时间的人 =)

(当然不好的习惯能改就改啦.. -_-)

总之..
只要不伤天和害理
我都觉得
敢做自己，不怕别人眼光的人
最有魅力了！  不是吗？ 哈哈=P

晚安！



（p/s: 打华语字的功夫太烂了，所以从三月打到四月。-o-  愚人节快乐！ 相信四月会更精彩。）

Here's this and there's that

Haha welcome come to the slightly late February issue. Actually i kinda forgot that this month only has 28 days and here i am giving an emergency update. Also I should really be in bed right now for the tml 8 o clock class.-_o''.

But anyways.. February...is a weird month..to say the least. Had quite a lot of things on my back now, both  activity work and personal stuff. I found my mind is always thinking of something with mixed feeling of anxious and excitement.

And this had really jeopardize my sleeping time, been having near sleepless night this few days and its definitely taking a toll on my concentration level in class.

In fact , i went for a run in the park alone today after my programing lab. Was hoping it would help to clear my mind abit and maybe burn off the extra energy for a better night sleep, and yet, here i am still kicking. (a big contrast to being a dried squid in the morning class ) but it does help me think about the matter  of priorities though. Come to think of it, all these work, even though they are things that i'm passionate about, is keeping me from reaching what i've always wanted.
And.. i never thought this was possible before until now.

So, what's it gonna be? I suppose only time will tell.
they always say there aren't many thing that can withstand the passing of time.
the things and people that do remain, treasure and guard it with everything you had. ^_^

and oh,wont be going home this week due to the coming rehearsal this weekend btw.. so things back at home will have to wait.

i guess i'll have to stop here now.Actually felt a tinge of sleepiness creeping in. o_O
Goodbye and good night to all of you out there.ciaoz.

Under the Sun? -charred skin

 Hey guys, it the last day of January, and following the tradition i had to make an update to what i am up to for this month. Actually..i was planning not to post this update as the project was far from completion and there's alot to be done.

but i dont really feel like letting the january issue pass on as well. So, here we go..

So the pass weeks of holiday i have been spending my time on this..yep a DIY badminton court just right at the side of my house. haha talk bout anti-climatic reveal.

Anyways, Its something i;ve been itching to do for a very long time but just cant seem to find the time and motivation to do it.

but since it will be another long wait for my next big holiday.. (internship is going to eat up next sem break. i told myself that it is finally time to bring the idea to life). Its now or never! >: (

Its not the most accurate court in the world.. but its close enough and i am happy with it =)

Drawing the line is a messy job involving part scientific calculation and part spontaneous guessing game.

oh well, i tried my best to follow the diagram (googled in 3 sec) and i guess it wont be too off. (i hope)

 even the net poles are DIY as well, thiss would be my first time working with cement.

Beside the court, i am also making a few new addition to the royal court yard in the form of more tables, chairs even some drain cover (as the court is nearing completion i realise that there's a prolbem of shuttle cock falling into the drain, which is always a bummer)

Then two days ago, my uncle saw me working around the house and decided to picth in a little bit after i told him about the problem of dwindling supply of material namely wood.

He tells of a place where those precious material were abundant and is just waiting around to be harvest and it's just too hard for me to resist.

 So, i tailed my uncle on his motorcycle with my father's hilux deep into the oil palm estate for a good 10min form my uncle house and.. he wasn't kidding, as soon as we arrive there's really lots of logs laying around.

So we immediately get to work. We both agree that it would be nice to make some stump seats out of them.

But we could't get on our mind on how high they would be....

Luckily i read from somewhere that supposely the most comfortable and ideal sitting positon was to have your thigh and calf 90degree away from each other, lol.. the internet..

so, i whip out my measuring tape to measure my knee height. which turns out to be 50cm... probably not the best specimen due to obvious reason ~.~

So finally we agree on 40cm and we loaded the truck until it could take no more. (greed..~.~)

Man on work..>=)

So while we were at his place my uncle show me his atv, and i was like, : holy crap, i had to ride it o_o

its was fun, its like a bike with a reverse gear, but its just so hard to shift down the gear because u need to hook the crank up on the side of the bike with your feet manually.

2 week of full sun explosure certainly take a toll on my usually flawless complexion -o-

as my skin grow darker and darker i also look more and more malay lol 

(i really get that alot from ppl) 

At the back is Alexander my mixed blood cousin brother who decided to tag along.

 

Here's that little brat again. lol

Its kinda bumpy in the estate way but i can see it being a really fun ride on the beach.

Maybe someday i will get myself one of this? 

Back at home.. my brother was like wtf are you going to do with these? o_O

There goes the front half my holiday, stay tuned for the febuary update ^^

And oh, happy new year =)

Last post of the year, And Some thoughts~

haha, i'm actually half way through physical chemistry tutorial when i'm typing this
was getting a little bored and i figured its good time to write a last little post for our dear year 2012
since the exam is going to be on 31december anyways

speaking of studies..
its funny how little the lecture notes and the tutorial are related, and what come out in the paper is an entire different story.

and then every sem its the same story over again. o_o
 

 honestly I'm getting a bit tired of this vicious cycle
(though usually i never get pass the first phase to begin with >_+ )

alright, alright, i don't want to sound ungrateful and ignorant
i know..i know  there are a lot of less fortunate people out there who deserve this "quality eduction''
but seriously i failed to see the point here..-_-
perhaps this is what it take to study science
or maybe i'm just not intelligent enough for this sort of thing =/ (kampung kia)
but i'd really like to see what i could actually do with the subject that i'm studying u know =o=
like...make it counts for something other than just the pointer.

but anyways enuff of rantings time a more positive things

something unexpected came out on this year xmas

i'm very flattered
i didt know what i did to deserve this o_o..
but thank you and thank you again,
i honestly had no idea who could be this thoughtful
so by any chance  if you are watching this and if you are the one who sent this
i want you to know that i am very grateful of it. =D

i am sry i cant bring myself to openly post this on facebook
(as the middle man(girl) suggest me to do)
but i hope you will see this blog post by chance. okay?^^

p/s : i haven eat any of them yet, haha due to some unexplainable hesitation =X

But anyway here's the last post of the year.
Been doing this for almost 2 years now.
its really amazing to look back on the posts and recall the time frame and moment. 
i hope next year i could still find the time and motivation to continue this blog.

That's all and good night! =D godd luck for all of you taking final exam!
jingle bell~ jingle bell~

Triple twelve? o_O

hahaz all the hypes
anything special about this
guess not..
but hey its the last repitative date we ll ever see in this lifetime
so it gonna count for something don't it?

Goodnite =)

Hi November, bye November

whoops, almost missed the november update.
the whole month just went so fast. no kidding
finally have time to sit down and just...pour everything out. =)

and oh, turned 22 years old this mont hahaz
its a brand new year for me, new milestone, and more space for improvements
the new kennedy is going to be more mature and composed
he going to learn to control his impulse and emotion
practice more scales and theory
not to think to much
appreciate people who did nice thing to him
do more nice thing for people he care about
speak fluent Cantonese
to accept what he cant understand instead of dismissing it
to not skip class (haha, yeah....let's hope so =P)

there's so much more to get better at, maybe its because i have too many flaws adi -_-

its a cold world out there..
where heart-felt warmth is very rare
which makes it even more valuable  
treasure all those stupid people who went out of their way to do stupid things for you. =)

..and never be afriad to look stupid.

 good nite =)

Heyheys -0-

Woaah, long way since the last post. -_-
hmm.3rd year, feels just like any typical sem. They said 3rd year is suppose to be 'the mid-life crisiss period' for college, where everything slows down, and you just feels...'old'. Lol XD

It it true?
Anyways, i dun feel anything like that at all, in fact, things start to pick up. perhaps its just me and my 叛逆期 and that comes waaaaay late. =D

Even now, when i speak to the junior i feel like a junior myself, most of the time i make fool of myself instead of the other way round like a typical senior. I dunno why, i be i just dun mind the being laughed at =D
Heck, just because we enter the college first doesnt make us their boss k? So just cut the senior 架子 already =_=

I dunno lah, Maybe it's just me. =P

And oh,
You know, sometimes..
we're too buzy wondering why no ppl cares about yourself
and we forget to care about others.
it's a vicious cycle. =/

There's this.. and then.. there's the crowd's-approval-seeking  syndrome.
 You know what i'm talking about right?
Ever know anyone that pays more attention and energy to strangers that they barely know than they do to thier true friends & family? gosh i just hate ppl like that. =o=

Alright that;s all for now. Ciaoz and Goodnight. =)

Blown Up Cover

Barely 2 weeks after the debut of this song, covers are blooming here and there. Having trouble to decide which one's better.

Meanwhile~after 2 week its the start of a next sem again, yep, all over again.
Well, cant say i make much progress on my journey on music theory though no thanks to goofing off here and there the entire holiday XD, aside from getting a few chord theories down (CAGED system etc) i'm still having trouble figuring the notes on the guitars. it just seem so much easier with piano, but on guitar, oh no, its a pain in the ass -__-.
Wonder how they can just pick up and play any tune in their head, must ve take years to do that-
to play the instrument like its their own vocal cord ~o~.

Just hope everything goes well from here.

Rock spirit~ 

Cryptic Lyrics of 'The A Team'

White lips, pale face
Breathing in snowflakes
Burnt lungs, sour taste
Light's gone, day's end
Struggling to pay rent
Long nights, strange men

And they say
She's in the Class A Team
Stuck in her daydream
Been this way since 18
But lately her face seems
Slowly sinking, wasting
Crumbling like pastries

And they scream
The worst things in life come free to us
Cos we're just under the upperhand
And go mad for a couple of grams
And she don't want to go outside tonight
And in a pipe she flies to the Motherland
Or sells love to another man
It's too cold outside
For angels to fly
Angels to fly

Ripped gloves, raincoat
Tried to swim and stay afloat
Dry house, wet clothes
Loose change, bank notes
Weary-eyed, dry throat
Call girl, no phone

And they say
She's in the Class A Team
Stuck in her daydream
Been this way since 18
But lately her face seems
Slowly sinking, wasting
Crumbling like pastries

They scream
The worst things in life come free to us
And we're all under the upperhand
Go mad for a couple of grams
And we don't want to go outside tonight
And in a pipe we fly to the Motherland
Or sell love to another man

It's too cold outside
For angels to fly
Angels to fly
To fly, fly
Angels to fly, to fly, to fly
Angels to die

It's all behind me now. Time to shine.

Alright, perhaps its not a good time. Final's not yet even finish. but i'm already i all jocked up for holiday. This and that, Lining up things that i would do. 2 and a half month, i ll present an even more improved and skilled me. =)

Rock Spirit~

You alright? I'm okay

very excited for it right now
despite study week -o-
with any luck during the post-concert meet and greet.
i wanna preform their very first cover for them
-"officially missing you" with my uke.
fingers-crossed*
 
It's alright now, I'm not blind.
Never was.
Rock Spirit*

Goodnight. =)

I'm Blind*

I came home and nothing was right
It's been a while since a fight
Well, maybe tonight my need for love
Can blind my sight

And I say things out of spite
Or I push you aside
No, I don't know how to fix it
I am falling apart and I am breaking your heart

Help me to see
'Cause I am blinded by love, blinded by love
And help me to be the one to guide us
Through the dark things we do

Now I know I can be tough sometimes
My words come out like knives
Cutting the space between us
And you try, yeah, I know you try

To just let things slide
But what good is that to us?
Oh, oh, I don't know
I am falling apart and I am breaking your heart

Help me to see
'Cause I am blinded by love, blinded by love
And help me to be the one to guide us
Through the dark things we do

Oh, I don't know what possibly changed
We were so good, so good
And where is the light at the end of this tunnel
'Cause I am falling apart and I am breaking your heart

Help me to see
'Cause I am blinded by love, blinded by love
And help me to be the one to guide us
Through the dark things we do

What does it really mean anyways? =)

Early twenties is truly a twilight zone
especially for university students..
no longer helpless
but still living off someone's pocket
way past the age of nurturing..
and yet to be able to fend for themselves.

so,  every now and then
it's not surprisingto find friend/peers who is rather anxious about how the future holds for them
prone to questioning their self-worth
and to wonder whether if they are in the right course or not.

Frankly, me  myself is not really sure
but

For all the people out who feels that they need to do something out of their nature to gain approval from other people，

 I just want to say to them,

you do the things u really want to do. ya know?
and care less about impressing other people.
people can always have their opinions.
and rarely can we find someone who is worthwhile to do so. 

you're already amazing by yourself.
now just go live your life.

yes, perhaps sometime people..
do a particular thing because it is what they expect of themselves
and i respected  every bit of it.
but if it makes you feel not like yourself,
if you life isn't depending on it,
why are you insisting on it then?
what good is pride if you've lost you identity in the first place？=/
it's not you anymore! =O

  
For me,
im ma forever be a man without a mask,
im ma present myself to every people ever crossed my path
ya, every now and then
i might risk falling face first into the ground without a mask protecting my face
but hey, it's alright, 我又不是靠脸吃饭的 =)！！
不过脸皮是越来越硬啦 (-'o'-)

Rock Spirit*
i smile because i don't want you to think that i hate you.

no, and never will.
that's just silly. =)

That's all.
Please don't get the wrong idea
Good night.