Of love and of loneliness

to be in love or to be lonely..
at a first glance, it appears that these two are the opposite of each other...
but actually....
these two are not related at all..

basicly..loneliness is created by our concious mind while true love is not sumthing that can be rationalised or reasoned

we dont go "owh, XXX always helped me when i am in trouble, so i decided to fall in love with XXX" it just doesnt work that way

love is......when you saw that special someone, your heart beats faster, you feel like your words doesnt come out right, and you either become too queit or too talkative..
you hard to act normal (>o<) but ended up acting like an idiot...
and you beat yourself over it after that (x.x)
and,and,and..you dont even care if his/her hair is in good shape today or wheater they 穿美美 or not
before you know it..you are smiling just out of nowhere
ya...its that feeling..=)

in short, incase of love...the feeling comes before the reasoning

loneliness on the other hand manifest itself only when we think about it

ok lets see an example =)

you are alone in your room..or.. you think that your handphone doesnt ring as much as other people..or..you think that you have noone to share your thoughts and... so on (there are just too many different forms of loneliness)
then your mind begin to reason and.. you decided that you are -in your own opinion-LONELY.
then the negative feeling kicks in..you are wondering why things are lidat...is there something wrong with you..why people can this and why people can that...etc..etc.etc
and finally they blame themself for everything when bad things happen..
then they withdraw themself from people..which cause them to feel more lonely and the cycle it goes on....
the thing is...there is nothing wrong with them and nothing to be blamed for =\
people are only as lonely as they think they are
and most of the time..they are not as lonely as they think
(heh...sry if it sounds confusing)

in the end... it all falls into what your think of yourself..
loneliness cannot be cured by surrounding yourself with 'friend', having fun 24/7 or having one lorry of of gf or bf.
it is after all.. in your mind.

speaking of bf/gf..
never make loneliness as an excuse to be in a relationship
it may take your mind of the feeling of loneliness for awhile
but the guilt willeat you alive 0.0

i know a couple of people who get in to a relationship just so that they could tell themself ''i have a gf/bf, i am not lonely ^^''
initially they seemed very happy but after sometime they discovered that the 'feeling' (yes, that special feeling =)) isn't really there..and realized that they got together for the wrong reason..
when they broke up..they get lonely...and they get into the wrong kind of relationship again..it like a never ending heart break =/

that is why the most important thing is... to just be yourself and be happy with it =)
and being happy is Not about being outgoing, overly friendly or talkative all the times

there is nothing wrong if you like to do things alone
everyone should learn to enjoy their own company
there is nothing wrong if you dont party day and night
it will start to feel meaningless after sometime
there is nothing wrong if you are quiet because you cant think of what to say
if you dont have anything to say in a conversation.. then dont..
listen to what other people are saying..
and say what comes naturally to you.

i personally think people who talk for the sake of talking very irritating..
they will do anything to keeep the conversation going..it like..if there's even one moment of silience the akwardness will kill them =.=
blah blah blah alot of 废话和鸟话 they ended up talking alot without saying anything.

if you are really confortable with that someone, you dont need to talk much and it would't feel akward as well.
it like...that time when your pa~ or ma~ or jie~ drove you home..you are feeling tired and not feeling like talking much.. you just glance at the passing view from the side window while they are driving witout saying anything..and yet.. there is not akwardness..
(haha sry.. i m just giving and example here..notice i didt put 'ko~' there because my brother driving skill is very gai =.= and i have to keep an eye on him when he drives)

everyone will sometimes, someday or eventually feel lonely and it is perfectly normal.
it is biologicaly progarmed in us to to feel that way so that could coexist instead of fighting to be the stand one standing (i know..i know... i sound like a geek now =.=)

so dont make a big deal out of it and dont let it takeover you

learn to love and be comfortable with yourself
then you can love others
不要被寂寞打败 =)

p/s :  phew..longest post ever..=.= tml got work....oklah..i gtg get some shut eye first ZZzzz(thinking of blogging about my job in next post..but who knows~)*