Last post of the year, And Some thoughts~

haha, i'm actually half way through physical chemistry tutorial when i'm typing this
was getting a little bored and i figured its good time to write a last little post for our dear year 2012
since the exam is going to be on 31december anyways

speaking of studies..
its funny how little the lecture notes and the tutorial are related, and what come out in the paper is an entire different story.

and then every sem its the same story over again. o_o
 

 honestly I'm getting a bit tired of this vicious cycle
(though usually i never get pass the first phase to begin with >_+ )

alright, alright, i don't want to sound ungrateful and ignorant
i know..i know  there are a lot of less fortunate people out there who deserve this "quality eduction''
but seriously i failed to see the point here..-_-
perhaps this is what it take to study science
or maybe i'm just not intelligent enough for this sort of thing =/ (kampung kia)
but i'd really like to see what i could actually do with the subject that i'm studying u know =o=
like...make it counts for something other than just the pointer.

but anyways enuff of rantings time a more positive things

something unexpected came out on this year xmas

i'm very flattered
i didt know what i did to deserve this o_o..
but thank you and thank you again,
i honestly had no idea who could be this thoughtful
so by any chance  if you are watching this and if you are the one who sent this
i want you to know that i am very grateful of it. =D

i am sry i cant bring myself to openly post this on facebook
(as the middle man(girl) suggest me to do)
but i hope you will see this blog post by chance. okay?^^

p/s : i haven eat any of them yet, haha due to some unexplainable hesitation =X

But anyway here's the last post of the year.
Been doing this for almost 2 years now.
its really amazing to look back on the posts and recall the time frame and moment. 
i hope next year i could still find the time and motivation to continue this blog.

That's all and good night! =D godd luck for all of you taking final exam!
jingle bell~ jingle bell~

Triple twelve? o_O

hahaz all the hypes
anything special about this
guess not..
but hey its the last repitative date we ll ever see in this lifetime
so it gonna count for something don't it?

Goodnite =)

Hi November, bye November

whoops, almost missed the november update.
the whole month just went so fast. no kidding
finally have time to sit down and just...pour everything out. =)

and oh, turned 22 years old this mont hahaz
its a brand new year for me, new milestone, and more space for improvements
the new kennedy is going to be more mature and composed
he going to learn to control his impulse and emotion
practice more scales and theory
not to think to much
appreciate people who did nice thing to him
do more nice thing for people he care about
speak fluent Cantonese
to accept what he cant understand instead of dismissing it
to not skip class (haha, yeah....let's hope so =P)

there's so much more to get better at, maybe its because i have too many flaws adi -_-

its a cold world out there..
where heart-felt warmth is very rare
which makes it even more valuable  
treasure all those stupid people who went out of their way to do stupid things for you. =)

..and never be afriad to look stupid.

 good nite =)

Heyheys -0-

Woaah, long way since the last post. -_-
hmm.3rd year, feels just like any typical sem. They said 3rd year is suppose to be 'the mid-life crisiss period' for college, where everything slows down, and you just feels...'old'. Lol XD

It it true?
Anyways, i dun feel anything like that at all, in fact, things start to pick up. perhaps its just me and my 叛逆期 and that comes waaaaay late. =D

Even now, when i speak to the junior i feel like a junior myself, most of the time i make fool of myself instead of the other way round like a typical senior. I dunno why, i be i just dun mind the being laughed at =D
Heck, just because we enter the college first doesnt make us their boss k? So just cut the senior 架子 already =_=

I dunno lah, Maybe it's just me. =P

And oh,
You know, sometimes..
we're too buzy wondering why no ppl cares about yourself
and we forget to care about others.
it's a vicious cycle. =/

There's this.. and then.. there's the crowd's-approval-seeking  syndrome.
 You know what i'm talking about right?
Ever know anyone that pays more attention and energy to strangers that they barely know than they do to thier true friends & family? gosh i just hate ppl like that. =o=

Alright that;s all for now. Ciaoz and Goodnight. =)

Blown Up Cover

Barely 2 weeks after the debut of this song, covers are blooming here and there. Having trouble to decide which one's better.

Meanwhile~after 2 week its the start of a next sem again, yep, all over again.
Well, cant say i make much progress on my journey on music theory though no thanks to goofing off here and there the entire holiday XD, aside from getting a few chord theories down (CAGED system etc) i'm still having trouble figuring the notes on the guitars. it just seem so much easier with piano, but on guitar, oh no, its a pain in the ass -__-.
Wonder how they can just pick up and play any tune in their head, must ve take years to do that-
to play the instrument like its their own vocal cord ~o~.

Just hope everything goes well from here.

Rock spirit~ 

Cryptic Lyrics of 'The A Team'

White lips, pale face
Breathing in snowflakes
Burnt lungs, sour taste
Light's gone, day's end
Struggling to pay rent
Long nights, strange men

And they say
She's in the Class A Team
Stuck in her daydream
Been this way since 18
But lately her face seems
Slowly sinking, wasting
Crumbling like pastries

And they scream
The worst things in life come free to us
Cos we're just under the upperhand
And go mad for a couple of grams
And she don't want to go outside tonight
And in a pipe she flies to the Motherland
Or sells love to another man
It's too cold outside
For angels to fly
Angels to fly

Ripped gloves, raincoat
Tried to swim and stay afloat
Dry house, wet clothes
Loose change, bank notes
Weary-eyed, dry throat
Call girl, no phone

And they say
She's in the Class A Team
Stuck in her daydream
Been this way since 18
But lately her face seems
Slowly sinking, wasting
Crumbling like pastries

They scream
The worst things in life come free to us
And we're all under the upperhand
Go mad for a couple of grams
And we don't want to go outside tonight
And in a pipe we fly to the Motherland
Or sell love to another man

It's too cold outside
For angels to fly
Angels to fly
To fly, fly
Angels to fly, to fly, to fly
Angels to die

It's all behind me now. Time to shine.

Alright, perhaps its not a good time. Final's not yet even finish. but i'm already i all jocked up for holiday. This and that, Lining up things that i would do. 2 and a half month, i ll present an even more improved and skilled me. =)

Rock Spirit~

You alright? I'm okay

very excited for it right now
despite study week -o-
with any luck during the post-concert meet and greet.
i wanna preform their very first cover for them
-"officially missing you" with my uke.
fingers-crossed*
 
It's alright now, I'm not blind.
Never was.
Rock Spirit*

Goodnight. =)

I'm Blind*

I came home and nothing was right
It's been a while since a fight
Well, maybe tonight my need for love
Can blind my sight

And I say things out of spite
Or I push you aside
No, I don't know how to fix it
I am falling apart and I am breaking your heart

Help me to see
'Cause I am blinded by love, blinded by love
And help me to be the one to guide us
Through the dark things we do

Now I know I can be tough sometimes
My words come out like knives
Cutting the space between us
And you try, yeah, I know you try

To just let things slide
But what good is that to us?
Oh, oh, I don't know
I am falling apart and I am breaking your heart

Help me to see
'Cause I am blinded by love, blinded by love
And help me to be the one to guide us
Through the dark things we do

Oh, I don't know what possibly changed
We were so good, so good
And where is the light at the end of this tunnel
'Cause I am falling apart and I am breaking your heart

Help me to see
'Cause I am blinded by love, blinded by love
And help me to be the one to guide us
Through the dark things we do

What does it really mean anyways? =)

Early twenties is truly a twilight zone
especially for university students..
no longer helpless
but still living off someone's pocket
way past the age of nurturing..
and yet to be able to fend for themselves.

so,  every now and then
it's not surprisingto find friend/peers who is rather anxious about how the future holds for them
prone to questioning their self-worth
and to wonder whether if they are in the right course or not.

Frankly, me  myself is not really sure
but

For all the people out who feels that they need to do something out of their nature to gain approval from other people，

 I just want to say to them,

you do the things u really want to do. ya know?
and care less about impressing other people.
people can always have their opinions.
and rarely can we find someone who is worthwhile to do so. 

you're already amazing by yourself.
now just go live your life.

yes, perhaps sometime people..
do a particular thing because it is what they expect of themselves
and i respected  every bit of it.
but if it makes you feel not like yourself,
if you life isn't depending on it,
why are you insisting on it then?
what good is pride if you've lost you identity in the first place？=/
it's not you anymore! =O

  
For me,
im ma forever be a man without a mask,
im ma present myself to every people ever crossed my path
ya, every now and then
i might risk falling face first into the ground without a mask protecting my face
but hey, it's alright, 我又不是靠脸吃饭的 =)！！
不过脸皮是越来越硬啦 (-'o'-)

Rock Spirit*
i smile because i don't want you to think that i hate you.

no, and never will.
that's just silly. =)

That's all.
Please don't get the wrong idea
Good night.

Waiting.. o_o

She's a seller who make you tube video. How cool is that =)

Who would've though online shopping can be so friendly.

Goodnite!

Just a boy.,an April's fool

lately..
i found myself giving up after when people look the other way after they catch a glimpse of me.
(i wonder why we do this anyways, don't we all want to say hi?
but instead we wait for other people to make the first move.
even when we both want the same thing.)

this've got to stop! >=/
before this i always choose to just greet out loud..



 







 this "ignore people" thing!  it's contagious! 0_o  (you don't say?)*


 
i know..=]
we tend to have different faces under different situation.
it's like..how some people tend to talk more when they are nervous while some people just choose to keep quiet or maybe crack a few cold jokes (akward..).

For me, I always like myself the best when i am singing along to MVs in my room.
I think that's what represent me the best, and i want people to see me that way..
I mean...... there's something about singing that let your guard down and feel like you can be who you are.
So, whenever i feel nervous or was about to enter an anxious moment, i'll sometime try to capture this feeling by humming a few lines.

Coz..trust me, nervousness can really make you act and sound like an idiot.. -_- especially in critical moment

So, don't be surprised if you catch me humming a song at the most inappropriate time.
It's just my way to cool my nerves and to make me feel like 'me' again. =]

It's just silly me (it's okay if you don't get half the things i said here.)

Goodnight.

This is my Rock Spirit.

I am a boy~
Just a boy~
I don't have anything to prove
i don't have to do anything to show people what i can or cannot 
and I have no need for distraction from the real issue.
I‘ve choose to face it. >_<


~*True to the heart and every last drip of my blood*~

This is my Rock Spirit. =) What's yours?


Anyways, watched the hunger games.
hmm..it's not bad for a based-on movie,
it's really quite good actually.
but..

 i'll suggest u guys read the novel itself, for it is 10x more epic =] promise.

Goodnight!

Masked guy in progress?

i find myself smiling when i am supposed to be sad
why do i feel relieved when i'm supposed to be upset?
is this feeling true to the heart?
or is it just a defense mechanism of my mind?
i dunno anymore.

i hope this inst the symptoms to becoming what i've always hated -a masked man.

Goodnite.

Come on man..Stay true.
Great time to write a song..

It's okay.

I didn't mind.
Stay Safe & baby steps.

Good night.

I'm sorry

real woman don't play silly insecure games
and real man don't fall for mind games.
 it's just a waste of time.
you've got to show that you're a classy, confident lady that knows what she wants =)


then again..
life's too short for fake smile,
that's why you don't see me pretending to be smiling and care free about it.
imma keep a poker face -.-

i'm sorry..

anyways.. have fun.

make every smile in your life counts =)


good night!

Hello to myself

Hello, this is February 2012, a very cold winter
Where are you - how close are you
To the dream that I wanted so bad?

Here, I'm still falling and crying again
I'm hurt and tired and have no strength to get up
But you would probably see me and smile.

Hello to myself, hello to myself
Will you comfort me, saying don't cry?
Hello to myself hello to myself
Will you tell me that I can do it?
Hello hello - don't cry - Hello hello - get up!

How are you - how is it to fulfill your dream?
Doesn't it hurt when you pinch yourself?
Or is it sometimes boring because it's become a normal routine for you?
If you ever get lonely and tired,
will you remember me, who used to dream here?

Hello to myself hello to myself
Will you think of me here and smile?
Hello to myself hello to myself
Will you be happy to the point where your heart overflows?
Hello hello, smile - Hello hello, just like that.

Hello to myself hello to myself
Will you think of me here and smile?
Hello to myself hello to myself
Will you not forget me, who used to dream?

A Trip Down The Memory Lane part 2

         Another holidays come and go, and a new sem is beginning soon.
I spent these last few days packing my thing. rearranging notes for my juniors,.. trying to figure out what i really need to bring and things lidat.

Then in the mist of the mess, i came across silly things that brought up the nostalgic side of me.

Stuffs like my orientation photo, course group photo, surat kehilangan metric card, event tickets,
gift boxes.

  my very first taekwondo grading cert..

those old  sem1 sem2 stuffs to the more recent event like..

 order and planning draft for HangFook tangyuan..

crazy pesta tanglung script that can easily induce headace..

There are a handful of silly leftover document like this and i've decided to put them all in a 'memory folder'.

like literally, lol :P

         And oh, and then there's the first sets of stage lights i made, now lies idle in the store room. waiting for another moment to shine again, and maybe collecting dust in the meantime. ~.~

         Maybe i will just pass them to the juniors next sem. I hope it still works though. It's, after all it's desgined using whatever knowledge that is left of kemahiran hidup in form 3.

haha yep, those good old time of playing carpenter in the bengkel. =.= 


         Anyways, i know for a fact that, some years from now, way are after i ended my study, i would go through these things and recall the moments again.

         Or.. perhaps i would meet an untimely death and brings the memories with me. After all, we can never know whats going to happen the next. do we? =)

Frankly speaking, despite the optimistic and go-getter attitude..
I mean, although i'm always looking forward to the future.
I cant deny that i spent quite some time looking back to the past as well.

         Of course...not all memory is going to be perfect and flawless. They can be bitter or sweet, or maybe even a mixture of both. This is only natural, being young and stupid, we are all bound to make mistakes or missing opportunities that we will come to regret later.

But regardless, the years spent in uni, are probably gonna be the some of the best years of my life. =)

Good Night.

Down with fever =o=

Sickly face
bad bad timing

it'll just have to wait -.-''

 what the hell, made it anyway =)
Valentine - Kina Grannis

Happy Valentine!

Always.. ❤

If I..
should stay,
I would only be in your way.
So I'll go
but I know
I'll think of you every step of the way.

And I..will always love you.
I will always love you.
You, my darling you.

Bittersweet memories
that is all I'm taking with me.
So, goodbye. Please, don't cry.
We both know I'm not what you need.

And I.. will always love you.
I will always love you.

I hope life treats you kind
And I hope you have all you've dreamed of.
And I wish to you, joy and happiness.
But above all this, I wish you love.

And I will always love you.

if only my vocals were good enough, i will definitely make a cover on your behalf.
but at last I'm not at that level yet..
maybe someday.. =)
i promise.
Bye and...thankyou  (◕‿◕)

Good night.

Broken Smile

its good to stay positive

but putting up a smile when you are really not okay,

can be very unhealthy 

or is it its human nature, to hide uncomfortable things away.. =/

a friend used to tell me
if u deny a feeling, it actually takes you longer to get over it.
in the end, people who manage to move on are people who embrace it

for the other group that can act as if nothing happened
these people may look tough on the outside
but they are the one is easily hurt/have been hurt before
fearing the unknown and wanting to always be in control of their emotion

they can put on a mask all they want,
but in the inside.. they are not going anywhere...
becuase they've refused to accept it in the first place =(

so, next time if u spot a friend putting up a tough mask..
tell him its okay to feel vulnerable very now and then,
becuase each and everyone of us is no superman,
in fact, even superman have his kryptonite
if you fell, i'm there to catch you =)
so stop being such a tough-ass! XP


"but be careful though..
they don't like people to know, that's why they hide it in the first place
so..they might be defensive about it.
you need to let them know that you are sincere in hearing them out"

i used to wonder what broken smile actually is

now i know.

gotta learn to let it out, got it?

alright,  what am i talking about in this joyous season =.=

Happy Chinese New Year chingus

working on a supprise right now..=)

stay tuned!

good night.

New Year-First Step

2012 is here! i already made my first step to this year resolution - making song covers =)

Dedicated Count on Me by Bruno Mars to my friends.
I must say the new mic was really fun~

 anyways, back to uni today,
hmm the thing about returning to college is that i am really going to miss home.
it just feels different here. the atmosphere.
to counteract this anxiety, i always bring something from home to college whenever i can
apples, oranges, bread, simple things like this can suddenly become so precious  when i am in my dorm.
they carry these special scent from home that make me feel so calm and reminds me of home when i munch on them  during midnight oil session. haha silly me.

heh, new hair cut =) hope it turn out to be something like this:

son hyuk lol XD

for you guy who didt know.
he's the anti-hero in athena
unlike stereotypical  cardboard villain. he is something different =)
hardship in life forced him to walk the path of no return.
but all he ever wanted was to earn his freedom from the organization
so that  he and hye-in could lead a normal life.
but that's not going to happen..
wished the ending was different though.

(although..i must admit the mousetache part is going to be difficult to imitate o.o)
 alright, back to reality. snap* snap*

I'ma find more people to collaborate next sem. [already have a few target >=) nyek nyek]

goodnight!